Another badish day...

Today acually started out great. Tyler woke me up to ask if I wanted to come and take a shower, I said no, and he told me to sleep as late as I wanted to then. Woke up around 9 30ish, went down to let him know I was awake. I came back upstairs to lay bad down because I was still tired, and he came up and after a wrestling match that I lost profusely,asked if I wanted breakfast. We made pancakes, well I did, because I know he loves them when I make them. We came back upstairs and I told him that I was going to watch some t.v. because he was going on the comp. Well, I was in the middle of changing my shirt because I had pancake batter all over it when he came in and started acually getting physical with me. He pushed me down on the water bed and started attacking me for lack of a better word, but in a wonderful we are going to have sex type of way, and he was acually really playfull about it. God only knows how long that lasted lol. After that he was still in a great mood and we hung out more. The rest of the day went by kind of like that. Both of us in a really good mood....Until I was making him dinner. He said something, I said something, he said soemthing else, I took offense and tossed my Gaterade bottle at him. He starts going off on you take everything to personally and goes upstairs. Since then he hasn't been saying much to me....I've tried saying sorry but I am so sick of saying sorry for things that I shouldnt' be sorry about. I am so sick of it....But what else can I do? I love him. What am I supposed to do? Make him say sorry? Leave him? It took alot not to cry right then and there when he started getting mad, and I couldnt' cry after he left because his mom was sitting right there. I guess I just have to sail through things and try my best not to do something stupid again. I've missed my last two counseling appointments because I forgot about them. Sometimes I just need to cry and when I need to I can't seem to find a place to cry. I have to wait until everyone is in bed. I have such a fucking head ache right now. What gets me the most about Tyler is that no one else seems to be able to make me want to cry when ever they feel the urge to. God, Keil wasn't even this bad and he made me cry alot. Tyler just has to look at me wrong sometimes and it makes me want to cry. Maybe I'm just getting way to over emotional about things lately. But yet again, what else can I do?